Subtlety. Love. Life. People. Obsession.

Millions and millions of people on earth. At some point, everybody thinks they are different in their own way. Forget the genetic and the biology stuff. The difference, here, is about how they react to other people, emotions. Apparantly, everybody is different but still finds many people who think like them.

The problem with me, being, I hardly ever find people who think as complex as me. I like the chase more than the catch. I like the intensity of the feeling more than the feeling.

Should i really be happy I’m “really” different? In a way, I am. But then, it keeps changing. At times, I feel sad. To be frank, if I am alone, I am quite happy. When I’m around people, is when i start to think why are people so different from me, or why am I so different from them or whatever.

I have always been a keen observer. Somehow, it adds to all the problems. I just don’t miss stuff people say or do. Minute things aren’t minute. They take up major time in my post trauma thought-process. Its difficult to explain to a common man. Its like. Hmmmm. If I am drop dead tired, I return back home at 2, and I see my bedroom in a mess. I would set it right because I wouldn’t be able to sleep if not. If i had a chance, I would ask people at 2 AM in the night for the aetiology of the mess. Sometimes, I love doing such kind of sadistic stuff. The worst part, is, I know I’m being sadistic. Cleanliness is something that my parents have thought me even before alphabets. Its like how a common man would look down upon people who didn’t know a language or was an illiterate. But still, you can’t be choosy in finding people who are clean to hang out with. Happens. So its fine.

I am not a big fan of PDA. Or on FB. Your social networking page shouldn’t be like a selfie video of your life. But, perspectives differ. So, thats fine too.

The wavelength I am in, is either too high for other people to understand what i mean, or feel what i feel, or realise what i think. All three don’t mean the same. Subtle differences. But still, like i told, minute is “major” for me. So, is subtle.

I watch movies I love over and over again. Its my nature. I like an ice cream. I might have the same flavour with the same toppings for years. Its not the fear of experimenting, its just difficult for me to forget something. May be, I can try another flavour alongside. But, in the first place, it takes a long time for me to figure out something i like, but when i do, I really do. So much so that, its very difficult for me to forget it or switch. It might be just a simple vanilla ice cream with chocolate buttons. I don’t like a lot of colourful toppings. I am generally a fan of black and white, when it comes to dressing. So i prefer lighter shades but classy stuff. That makes my dress selection easier. Because half the world these days wants colours i never wished to use even when during my 3rd standard painting period.

Icecream just doesn’t have to mean ice-cream. There is a lot more you can learn from a ice cream. I love subtlety. Enough said.