Random – Little things in life

Little things in life
What is little to you might seem very large to somebody else. Some people find happiness in little things while the others dream big. It’s all about how you perceive it. Perceptions are key. Perceptions are what make couples bond. The same perceptions are what make couples part. Not just about couples, be it terrorists or political rivals, it all zeroes down to how you or a group perceive something as opposed to another group who perceive it in a totally different way.

For me, I’ve always found happiness in those little things. Though I just like to call them little things, they are much more than ‘little’. I’ve been brought up in Chennai. I’ve loved the city so much. I do crib about how hot it is and how it’s not as fun as Bangalore bla bla. Still, somewhere deep inside, I’m happy about how conservative and safe the city has been over the years.

So then, a few years back, I’d gone to UK for an holiday. It was freezing cold, and I never knew there would be a day I would miss Chennai’s scorching sun until then. The moment I landed at the Chennai Airport, I sweat insanely, more so because it was the month of March (my birthday month too) :p . Somehow, it made me so happy. To put it in short, I felt so ‘Chennai’.

Being a big time foodie, my first meal was ‘Chicken Biryani’ after I landed. I know I’m giving major feels like I’d come back to India after 20 years though it was hardly 60 days. Still, it felt good to be back. I did miss India and its rules. :p

There are so many things that make me happy. But somehow, the feeling of ‘biryani’ beats them all hands down. The feeling of eating Biryani in a Andhra mess in Chennai and sweating like crazy, the feeling of eating parotta with salna in Muniyandi Vilas, the feeling of having the yummy podi dosa in a road side ‘thallu’ vandi, the feeling of having an ice cream late in the night, with the person you love having a conversation with. If I had to talk about food, I would wanna have a separate blog with posts everyday about food.

Travel and food are what excite me the most, apart from watching Disney movies of course. That’s the cake. And the icing on the cake? If it was with company that I could talk for hours and hours about random crap, and laugh it off.

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been brought up in a busy metropolitan city or what, I have always liked to travel to far away adventurous places, more like these quiet serene mountains, just sit and look at the sky, talk, talk and talk. I would love to have someone hold my hand. Not just hold, you know that feeling how it is when someone really holds you and just the feel of their touch on your hand gives you a feeling all over your body surface area? 😀 And how you hold them a little tighter each day, not wanting to let them go? 🙂 Like that feeling you get when someone is serving you Biryani and you are about to eat the first spoon but you have to wait for them to finish serving. Or the feeling you have like 2 seconds before you see the question paper, that lump in the throats added with a little adrenaline pump. All these feelings last only for that moment, for a few seconds to minutes. But, that’s what makes ‘love’ so special. That feeling can last for months or years. If everything goes well and you are lucky enough, even a lifetime. Imagine, the feeling of ‘biryani’ for a lifetime. Insane right? How I wish, I found that special person, who could talk random shit with me, travel to new places far far away (mountains or beaches, preferably) and, last but not the least, good food. 😀

How I wish I found that person. That special one. But what is it about relationships that scares me? These little things make me so happy. But, there are certain things that have kept me away from relationships.
One thing above all, is about how I feel, however attached you are to a person, you need to give them some time and space for themselves. Be it husband and wife, or even a pre marital relationship, never push anything on to yourself or make things difficult by suffocating the other person. I have always thought, the more space and time you give your partner, the better the relationship. Having said that, I expect the same too. Is it an unfair request? I don’t think. More than men, I think women need that time and space, more so in a relationship. Women are fragile and complex. Complex is more apt a word than complicated, ain’t it? Give them the time and space. Make them feel independent.

If you are a typical lecherous chauvinist Indian man, I could explain the above to you in easier terms ‘Let her live like a man’. Having said that, I’m sure there are so many other men out there in this generation who respect women as much as they respect men, if not more. Please don’t ask me if Rahul Gandhi is one of them. 😂 Also, I was talking about Indian men. Not being racist, but still 😝ndom crap will continue. Bye bye for now.

Indian things- Feminism

Indian things.
 There are millions of living organisms in this world. The world was meant for each and every one of them. Though we have reached a state where humans are fighting endlessly among their own race for money and power, it is interesting to note how bad a race we are as a whole to fight for the land that belongs to a million other organisms. May be it’s the seventh sense that’s creating all the ruckus? May be life would have been so much better if we were like the animals that get to live wild and free. No visas, just fly to places you want to. Find food for every meal, be content with it rather than thinking about what to do next in life and caught in the vicious circle of running from one post to another. 
So then, that sums up on a superficial note on how humans are just a part of this world and not the world. Among humans, women are apparantly considered to be the less dominant race? I haven’t understood the logic behind this for what, a few years now. There have been certain things that make me wonder if we are going backward with evolution. 
A few days back, my mother was on the phone, when I was sitting in the same room engrossed with my instagram stories and the usual useless crap. I was eves dropping on her conversation (don’t usually listen to women gossip, but this seemed interesting). There was this topic that came up where she was discussing with my grand mother about giving away her wealth to her grandson’s and the required legalities to be done, as she was growing old. 
A number of things ran over my mind. First and foremost, I was wondering why would somebody think about death and who the wealth would go to after them? May be I’m not old enough to realise the importance, if any, or we are just that selfish generation who wouldn’t think much about our grandsons as much as our previous generations have been. Only time will tell. What came up next on my mind was, I was wondering why my mother was talking about only grandsons and not taking into account the granddaughters. My mother hung up, and I decided to ask her right away, not even thinking for a second if she’ll give me that ‘So you were listening to everything?’ look. 

My mom explained to me how, in India, it’s a patriarchal society and the sons are the ones who inherit all the wealth. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe this was happening in my family too. I thought we were moving in the forward direction only to realise, we are no way even looking forward, forget moving forward. My mom, being as broad minded as she’s always been, told me how you can’t change a few things in the country. Immediately, like always, a million vague questions came up in my mind ‘What if someone had 2 daughters? What if someone had 4 daughters and one son?’ How unfair is it? Why would somebody do that? 

 If you’re wondering if it’s the usual feminist crib by a homo sapien with XY chromosomes, ‘No’. I’m a XX chromosome, but the difference being, I was raised by a very fine and powerful XY chromosome. My one and only, the finest woman I’ve ever met and I will ever do, ‘Amma’. 

Romance, Mani Ratnam and Kollywood

Romance has always been my favourite genre. But, romance on screen is quite tricky. I’m no Mani Ratnam to talk about film making. But, I certainly know that there are very few films where the romance is really quite romantic and classy. Romance is a thin line with love on one side and lust on the other. Lust can wither away with age. Even, love might as lust does, or vice versa. But, romance will never fade away with age.

When you drink coffee, there is that amount of hotness which most people prefer. That thin range of hotness, that you can just manage to drink. Beyond that point, either it’s just too hot that it’ll burn your tongue. Or, it’s just a little too cold that you don’t feel quite coffee-ish while you drink.  

If you’re someone who’s tried alcohol, you would probably be able to relate to this. That feeling when you’re high and happy, that thin range. If you go beyond that, you’re probably going to spoil your night and get wasted. If you don’t reach that range, you’re probably going to not feel the high or kick as much as you wanted to. 

That thin range is romance. But, most Indians overdo it or underdo it, and its most commonly lust, if not love (in movies atleast). Latter is better comparatively, as the former is dangerous in the longer run. 

Isn’t that why Indians often get wasted as they drink alcohol beyond limits? Drinking isn’t necessarily a bad habit. But I think the fact that most of us overdo it, makes it dangerous.

Okay, let’s not contaminate romance with too much of alcohol. 

So then, that thin range is quite a rarity these days. The odds of someone being romantic and they meeting somebody who would be romantic enough to understand their romance, is very negligible.

When it is so difficult in real life, it is surely not an easy job to bring the romance on the camera especially when you have two people artificially romancing in front of a huge camera and a hundred people around watching you without batting a eye lid. It is not shocking that classy romance is quite a rarity in films, and most Indian film makers choosing to go the age-old-lusty way. 

There comes the legend, Mani Ratnam. I might have bored you with the word ‘romance’ for quite a while now. But then, if you were to define romance in a single word, it should be ‘Subtlety’. The more subtle it gets, the more romantic it ought to be. Mani Ratnam is the king of subtlety. In his movies, the dialogues are quite short and subtle, but yet very powerful and touchy. 

Alaipayuthey- The simple yet super romantic scene where Karthik proposes to Shakthi, is still one of the best pick up lines ever. Even at the climax, when she says ‘Theriyaadhu, aana I love you’ (the same dialogue which Karthik tells her earlier in the movie) is just pure class. He could have had a long dialogue justifying how much he loves her. He could have had a lusty kiss to finish it off. But he chose to just end it with a simple ‘Theriyaadhu aana I love you’, which conveys what a 1000 words if not more could have. 

Various shades of romance are evident in all of his films. Be it Iruvar, where he brings politics and cinema, and still manages to score points with his subtle dialogues. Or Mouna Raagam, where they hardly ever talk if not for a few words, which still manages to make you choke emotionally, even if it is your 124th time.(random exaggeration to prove the point- please ignore). 

Aayuthu Ezhutha has to be my all time favourite Mani Ratnam movies in terms of shades of romance that were portrayed.         

 On one end, there is Surya with his radical views, with touches of serious love combined with true romance. My favourite dialogue has to be the one he tells during the bike ride, about how he doesn’t believe in the institution of love and marriage, which later ends by Michael asking her to come home, if she loves him, which is a subtle contradiction to his views on love.

On the other end, there is the beasty and lusty Inbashekar. With another shade of lusty-beasty-romance. The lyric of the song ‘Sanda Kozhi’ is going to be my favourite in this story. ‘Saiva muththam koduththaa, Oththu pogha maattaen, Saaghasaththa kaattu, Seththu pogha maattaen’. 

In the middle, we have Arjun and Meera, which is a shade of pure romance to start with. Two people who believe in that thin range, however long or short it lasts. Only to end it the Michael way, when they realise they cannot part ways as easily as they thought they could. My favourite dialogue has to be the one Arjun tells while crossing the road, before Meera gets in to the auto ‘Unna paathidhikapram Chennai eh clean ah theridhu, nee sirrikumbodhu, nenjikkunadolle yaaro torch light on panre maari irrika’ , this with ARR’s amazing BGM gives me goosebumps even I watch the movie for the n’th time

What makes all these 3 stories romantic?

It’s that subtlety. How subtle they manage to show their love is what makes it a treat to watch. ‘Subtlety of romance’ is more romantic than the ‘romance of romance’. 

 That’s the power of subtlety.

Mani Ratnam is a master of subtlety.

I was watching this interview of a director who was very proud about the fact that he uses his heroines only as a tool for glamour. To say the least, I wonder if such directors have even watched good movies before they became directors. Makes me wonder how producers decide to invest on such letcherous minds. No wonder I haven’t watched any of his movies. Trailers, if not such interviews, are more than enough to judge such directors. 

Yes, I agree, there are a few classy directors too. But very few to say the least. My favourite has to be Gautam Menon. He might not be as subtle as Mani Ratnam, but everybody has their own style. That’s what makes him special. He is subtle in his own way. Though there is some sort of similarity among all his lead roles, there is a subtle stand out feature in each of them. I think, my love for Gautam Menon would need another blog post. I have watched VTV for more number of times than he, himself would have.

I’m not the first day first show kind of fan. But, the only movies I would make sure I watch on the first day if not the first weekend, are Mani Ratnam and Gautam Menon movies. 

Romance is slowly dying, these days. So are movies with classy romance and directors who believe in subtlety. 

Such directors would never fade away in terms of quality of films they make. Even if they turn 60 years, they can still give a super romantic contemporary called ‘Okay Kanmani’. Class is permanent. Age is just a number. 
PS- The first day first show part. One exception. You obviously know it. Who wouldn’t want to watch him FDFS on the big screen. Thalaivar 😎 #purecharisma #exceptiontoeverything 

Subtlety. Love. Life. People. Obsession.

Millions and millions of people on earth. At some point, everybody thinks they are different in their own way. Forget the genetic and the biology stuff. The difference, here, is about how they react to other people, emotions. Apparantly, everybody is different but still finds many people who think like them.

The problem with me, being, I hardly ever find people who think as complex as me. I like the chase more than the catch. I like the intensity of the feeling more than the feeling.

Should i really be happy I’m “really” different? In a way, I am. But then, it keeps changing. At times, I feel sad. To be frank, if I am alone, I am quite happy. When I’m around people, is when i start to think why are people so different from me, or why am I so different from them or whatever.

I have always been a keen observer. Somehow, it adds to all the problems. I just don’t miss stuff people say or do. Minute things aren’t minute. They take up major time in my post trauma thought-process. Its difficult to explain to a common man. Its like. Hmmmm. If I am drop dead tired, I return back home at 2, and I see my bedroom in a mess. I would set it right because I wouldn’t be able to sleep if not. If i had a chance, I would ask people at 2 AM in the night for the aetiology of the mess. Sometimes, I love doing such kind of sadistic stuff. The worst part, is, I know I’m being sadistic. Cleanliness is something that my parents have thought me even before alphabets. Its like how a common man would look down upon people who didn’t know a language or was an illiterate. But still, you can’t be choosy in finding people who are clean to hang out with. Happens. So its fine.

I am not a big fan of PDA. Or on FB. Your social networking page shouldn’t be like a selfie video of your life. But, perspectives differ. So, thats fine too.

The wavelength I am in, is either too high for other people to understand what i mean, or feel what i feel, or realise what i think. All three don’t mean the same. Subtle differences. But still, like i told, minute is “major” for me. So, is subtle.

I watch movies I love over and over again. Its my nature. I like an ice cream. I might have the same flavour with the same toppings for years. Its not the fear of experimenting, its just difficult for me to forget something. May be, I can try another flavour alongside. But, in the first place, it takes a long time for me to figure out something i like, but when i do, I really do. So much so that, its very difficult for me to forget it or switch. It might be just a simple vanilla ice cream with chocolate buttons. I don’t like a lot of colourful toppings. I am generally a fan of black and white, when it comes to dressing. So i prefer lighter shades but classy stuff. That makes my dress selection easier. Because half the world these days wants colours i never wished to use even when during my 3rd standard painting period.

Icecream just doesn’t have to mean ice-cream. There is a lot more you can learn from a ice cream. I love subtlety. Enough said.

IMMUNE INDIAN

The amount of hatred in the world is increasing exponentially with the 124324234 terrorist groups and 2343545 castes, with a new one coming up as i type this blog.

But, I’m going to be a typical Indian and not talk a lot about the negativity. Thinking why i said typical Indian? For most of us, thats a characteristic feature know. We decide to avoid important things. Its okay even if we live in a ever growing mess. We won’t do anything to change it or change anything for our future generations. We just decide to live with it. We are IMMUNE. We are INDIANS. Nothing proud about it to type in CAPS though. Just tried to highlight my point to people who want to change the current scenario. As in, I am meaning, the UNCOMMON, not so IMMUNE INDIAN.